Weiner’s shock decision: “I’m standing for Jerusalem”

27 Sep
Weiner

Shock Jerusalem mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner: “They even named a hot dog after me.”

(Jerusalem, September 27th) Anthony Weiner, the former mayoral candidate for mayor of New York City, has declared himself a late runner in the race to become mayor of Jerusalem.

The election in October was until now a two-way race between incumbent Nir Barkat and Likud challenger Moshe Lion.

But his opening campaign blast – a candid photograph texted to 300,000 Jerusalem voters – was immediately condemned by critics as “inappropriate.”

“I want to show the people of Jerusalem what I stand for,” said Weiner. “I’m not the kind of guy who just withdraws. I believe I have the name recognition and track record in sleaze that Jerusalem has been missing in recent years. They even named a hot dog after me.”

Weiner said his record of support for Israel would attract Israeli voters, and his Muslim wife would attract Palestinian voters.

“I believe I can present a stiff challenge to the other candidates,” he said.

He dismissed criticisms that he has never lived in Jerusalem.

“Lion lives in Givatayim and Barkat is way too honest to be granted a second term,” said Weiner.

“History has shown that Jerusalemites want a mayor well-versed in the minutiae of financial corruption and political double-dealing, they don’t like all this high-tech and porn stuff,” said Likud candidate Moshe Lion in a long-distance call from his home many miles from Jerusalem.

“Vroooooom,” said Jerusalem Mayor Nir Barkat from the seat of his new racing car.

Advertisements

One Response to “Weiner’s shock decision: “I’m standing for Jerusalem””

  1. Keren September 27, 2013 at 11:48 am #

    My dachshund, Aima, says, “HEY, HEY, HEY! Who is this Anthony guy ‘n’ how come he doesn’t know how to pull “WIENER” properly?”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: