Archive | September, 2013

Weiner’s shock decision: “I’m standing for Jerusalem”

27 Sep

Weiner

Shock Jerusalem mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner: “They even named a hot dog after me.”

(Jerusalem, September 27th) Anthony Weiner, the former mayoral candidate for mayor of New York City, has declared himself a late runner in the race to become mayor of Jerusalem.

The election in October was until now a two-way race between incumbent Nir Barkat and Likud challenger Moshe Lion.

But his opening campaign blast – a candid photograph texted to 300,000 Jerusalem voters – was immediately condemned by critics as “inappropriate.”

“I want to show the people of Jerusalem what I stand for,” said Weiner. “I’m not the kind of guy who just withdraws. I believe I have the name recognition and track record in sleaze that Jerusalem has been missing in recent years. They even named a hot dog after me.”

Weiner said his record of support for Israel would attract Israeli voters, and his Muslim wife would attract Palestinian voters.

“I believe I can present a stiff challenge to the other candidates,” he said.

He dismissed criticisms that he has never lived in Jerusalem.

“Lion lives in Givatayim and Barkat is way too honest to be granted a second term,” said Weiner.

“History has shown that Jerusalemites want a mayor well-versed in the minutiae of financial corruption and political double-dealing, they don’t like all this high-tech and porn stuff,” said Likud candidate Moshe Lion in a long-distance call from his home many miles from Jerusalem.

“Vroooooom,” said Jerusalem Mayor Nir Barkat from the seat of his new racing car.

Dressed to Kill: The Assads and QE2

25 Sep
Bashar Queen

Her Maj: “How does he stay so calm?”
Asma: “Nerve gas.”

MORE EXCLUSIVE EXTRACTS FROM THEIR CONVERSATION HERE:

DRESSED TO KILL: WHEN THE ASSADS MET QUEEN ELIZABETH

Mayoral candidate’s radical Jerusalem housing solution

20 Sep

Lion housing

Moshe Lion, Likud-Yisrael Beyteinu candidate for Mayor of Jerusalem, reveals his radical solution to Jerusalem’s chronic housing shortage

Israelis move to shelters as Iran attack nears

19 Sep
MIDEAST ISRAEL SUKKOT

Israelis built makeshift shelters on balconies across the country in preparation for Iranian nuclear attack. Experts said the “God Pods” would provide little protection

(Jerusalem, September 19) As if sensing an imminent Iranian missile attack, Israelis moved en masse into makeshift shelters on Wednesday night, prompting diplomats and international news organizations to predict that a strike against Tehran’s fast-developing nuclear industry was imminent.

There was no official announcement, but millions of Israeli citizens made the move on Wednesday, perhaps as the result of a coded message issued by the government and unintelligible to foreigners.

Foreign media have predicted an imminent Israeli attack on Iran at least 26 times in the past five years. They live in hope.

The shelters, visible at homes across Israel, seemed to provide scant protection. Most were hurriedly constructed from wooden boards and roofed with tree branches. Some were lavishly decorated inside, while others remained bare.

The bizarre architecture seems to be based not on modern defense technology but on traditional religious plans for protective booths dating back to the early rabbis.

The shelters were soon dubbed “God Pods” by foreign media analysts.

Israelis were also laying in stocks of citrus fruit, palm branches and other natural vegetation that are believed to have medicinal properties in the event of an attack.

But experts said the God Pods would be “useless” against most modern weapons, even if fired by Iranians.

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