ISRAELI PRIME MINISTER BENJAMIN NETANYAHU today apologized to the Jerusalem international press corps for the absence of any stupid comments by his government over the fall of President Morsi in Egypt.
“I am deeply sorry that my ministers have failed to say anything dumb today about Egypt,” said Netanyahu. “They have failed to fulfill their solemn duty to keep you guys on the front pages and at the top of news broadcasts even while there is mayhem all around.”
“We have fewer idiots without Shas”
Top Jerusalem bureau chiefs, struggling to justify why they have a dozen reporters covering Israel and Palestine compared to just one or two for the entire continent of Africa, have for years depended on misguided outbursts from Israeli leaders to keep them in the spotlight while hundreds of thousands die of war, disease or malnutrition in Africa, the Syrian government slaughters 90,000 of its citizens, and the rest of the Middle East tears itself apart.
Responding to an official protest from the Foreign Press Association, Netanyahu promised to do better in future, adding: “Without Shas and the neo-Kahanists in the coalition we have fewer idiots, which causes some difficulties, but we are pleased with the progress being made by Deputy Defense Minister Danny Danon.”
Asked where Danon was in the crucial hours following the coup in Egypt on Wednesday evening, Netanyahu said: “Even Danny is entitled to the occasional vacation.”
“Either one of my cabinet ministers or an unnamed ‘senior security official’ will make a dumb comment by the weekend, or I will tell Sara to sack the housekeeper,” Netanyahu promised.