UK Compassion for Refugees (2)

7 Sep



Responding to the Prime Minister’s announcement this afternoon on the refugee crisis, Cllr David Simmonds CBE, Chairman of the LGA’s Asylum, Migration and Refugee Task Group, said:

“It is extremely heart-warming to see so many people wanting to help vulnerable people in crisis by opening their homes and offering care and safety, but this is only a short term solution to a long term problem. Councils have an excellent track record in supporting refugee children and their families, standing ready to help in every way they can, but need to ensure that when the moment of crisis passes and families and individuals settle into a new life in the UK that they have the support and resources they need.

“UK councils helped accommodate over 25,000 refugees and nearly 2,000 unaccompanied refugee children in the last year, most of whom will remain in the UK long term. We are supporting around 10,000 households whose asylum application was eventually turned down and who are now dependent on their local council for somewhere to live.

“Councils need a commitment from government to provide full funding to support individuals and families until they are granted asylum or they are safely returned to their own country. Local communities that open their doors at a moment of crisis should not be left to pick up the pieces when funding runs out and the world’s attention has moved on.”


1.    According to the Home Office, 25,771 people applied for asylum in the UK in the year ending June 2015. Around 2,000 unaccompanied children apply for asylum in the UK each year.

2.    As of January 15 2015, the number of households recorded as in receipt of financial support across 28 local authorities using NRPF Connect stood at 1,946, with 3,354 dependants, at a combined weekly cost in accommodation and subsistence provision of £579,407 (£30.1 million per annum).

Monday, September 7, 2015

UK Compassion for Refugees

3 Sep



Responding to the refugee crisis, Cllr David Simmonds CBE, Chairman of the Local Government Association’s Asylum, Migration and Refugee Task Group, said:

“No-one can fail to have been affected by the tragic scenes we have all witnessed as the refugee crisis has developed over recent days. Councils across the country are playing their part and local government has an excellent track record in supporting refugee children and their families.

“The LGA has been in discussions with government over a number of years on such issues and is committed to urgently working together to find new solutions. Any support offered by councils must be on a voluntary basis where support can be adequately provided.

“However, central government has to recognise that any costs associated with this international problem must be fully met by Whitehall.”

September 3, 2015

Google announces successful field test of new “Gaza Glass”

8 Aug

Gaza Glass

(Gaza/Ashkelon, August 8) Google revealed yesterday that it had deployed its new “Gaza Glass” to reporters during the recent Israeli-Palestinian flare-up, allowing media on both sides to view the fighting from a new, digital perspective.

The new technology allows the user to erase images from their reality that they find bothersome or confusing, enabling them to view “complex situations with extraordinary clarity” according to a Google executive, who spoke on condition of anonymity because he was scared of everyone.

“Everywhere I looked in Gaza, I could see only terrorists. No schools, hospitals, women or children, just terrorists.”

“It was great,” said a reporter embedded with an Israeli army tank unit. “Everywhere I looked in Gaza, I could see only terrorists. No schools, hospitals, women or children, just terrorists.”

A correspondent who spent nearly a month at the Al-Deira Hotel on the Gaza seafront said the new glasses “helped me see everything in clear black and white, not even shades of grey.”

“I was scared when the fighting started, but as long as I kept my Gaza Glasses on, I didn’t see a single Hamas gunman or rocket launcher, just innocent civilians,” she said.

Google said they were delighted by the results of what they called “a live Beta testing – with a lot of dead people.”

“Jon Snow of Channel 4 News and Tyler Hicks of the New York Times have asked for two pairs,” said Google. “We understand Fox News are equipping all their cameras with the new technology.”

Google refused to release details of the technology behind the new Glass, except that each lens was coated in molecules derived from an extract of the common Rosaceae plant.

Israel Police Suspect Price Tag’s Role in Missing Apostrophe

9 May


Israel’s literary police have launched a nationwide hunt after a key apostrophe went missing from the 20 14 Writers’ Festival in Jerusalem.

“I looked at all the material for the festival and it had just disappeared,” said Inspector Jasper Fforde.

Insp Fforde said several lines of inquiry are being followed.

“We are speaking to ultra-orthodox activists who we suspect may find the apostrophe too feminine to appear in public in Jerusalem,” he said. “We also fear that Palestinian militants may have stolen it for use in a planned terror strike, or right-wing Israelis may have taken it in a ‘price-tag’ attack.”

“But the most likely culprits are Israelis, who tend to put apostrophes everywhere except the place they are supposed to go,” he said.

When the Assads met QE2

16 Apr
Bashar Queen

Her Maj: “Where will you collect the election votes?”
Asma: “Bullet boxes.”



Kerry’s weekend rendezvous

6 Dec

Fancy that! From the Press Pool report on John Kerry’s remarks after meeting President Mahmous Abbas, Ramallah, December 5, 2013

Kerry Satan

Outcry as Israel steals Thanksgiving

28 Nov


(Tehran, September 28) IRAN’ S SUPREME LEADER called on the international community to condemn what he described as “an outrageous act of cultural imperialism by the Zionist enemy” – the hijacking of Thanksgiving by the Jewish state.

“We declare our firm solidarity with our new friend John Kerry and his pioneer forebears. We stand shoulder to shoulder with the American people as they resist this Zionist takeover of the hallowed turkey-slaughtering festival of the American people,” said supreme leader Ayatollah Khamenei.

He was responding to the brazen attempt by Zionists to combine the Thanksgiving holiday with the Jewish festival of Channukah.

“Is it Hanuka, Channukah or Honecker?” demanded Khamenei to roars of approval. “No-one even knows how to spell the damn thing!”

“We say to the Zionists: Take your filthy oil-based foodstuffs to the wintry days of December, where they belong, and allow our American allies to celebrate their genocide of the Native American Homelanders without interference!” he added.

The Iranian leader was addressing thousands of ordinary Iranians who had come to bathe in the heavy water facility at Arak as part of a Plutonium Peace Party organized to celebrate the recent Geneva agreement under which Iran will be allowed to slaughter as many people as Bashar Assad.


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